november 21st
the cold is coming in, now, and my soul feels settled in a few ways that winter has historically brought for me. as i’m writing, all of outside is tinted with greys and purples through the clouds and I sip my espresso con panna.
I love the color / phenomenon that is: white. Even outside of snow much of the winter reminds me of white. Seeing our breath as foggy puffs in the air, the warm milk in my drinks, the white of the huskies in that movie Balto I watched growing up.
The stained glass piece on the left is a concept I’m playing with - clear glass or light colors to take on whatever color is behind it. This is how most windows are… allowing us to see through them. I like to imagine these little clear pieces as portals to whatever may be beyond them. I’m looking forward to this exploration.
monthly painting
This is the second month I am committing to one large painting to return to for the duration of November. It isn’t complete yet but this way of working, even just the two months of it, has felt so profound. I have always felt a connection to the materials I work with as in they are always waiting for me.
Throughout my anger, mood swings, life stages, etc … the paint, the brushes, the canvas all wait for me until I’m ready like the most patient lover. I do not paint under any obligation, duty, or contract - I paint because it’s how I speak, how I pray, how I understand myself and the world and because I love it.
Sometimes I’m afraid if I talk about how much I love painting that people will not understand that is is also hard work. I’ve never felt the adage “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” was quite applicable. This is why I view my practice and myself as a sort of relationship: we expect in any relationship for there to be work, hard times, or conflict. In a steadfast love though, there are undercurrents of dedication, trust, and love (even when our feelings may fluctuate).
Studio scenes: L to R
I have been lighting candles while I paint as a way of documenting the time I’ve spent painting. It began as a response to the genocide happening in Palestine and a reminder to continually lift them up.
I took broken crayons from the church nursery I work in twice a week and began peeling them. Hopefully for Christmas I will get some new molds to bake and melt the wax into new creations, and give them to the kids.
My studio neighbor generously shared her pigment paints from her recent trip to Spain. The couple who sources and grinds the earth pigments also cook often with seafood, and save the clam shells while cooking soup, to use as palettes for the paint. There’s so much we can learn about the earth and its gifts to us.
I am learning to spin wool into yarn!! It’s the perfect slow art and it’s taken some patience but I finally have something that looks like yarn, as uneven as it may be!
My stained glass partner and I are almost done with our design for the large windows we were commissioned. Next is a LOT of cutting, tracing, and retracing I’m sure. I can’t wait to see it all come together.
What’s Coming Up
If you can make it, I’D LOVE to see you come to my studio! I have work from now and some from four years ago, so come help yourselves :)
also: Queer Studio Night will resume in January, once the craziness of holiday season eases up!
November Muses
The Sun Will Rise Over Palestine by Ilham Shahrour, 12 yrs old.
I watched the gorgeous film Nyad and became fixated on Diana Nyad’s story and life. She was very public about the childhood abuse she suffered under the hand of her swim coach. I watched so many interviews, eating them up, and in one she was asked where she found the strength to swim as long as she did. She shared that because of her abuse, she possessed unworldly strength.
Her friendship with Bonnie delighted my heart - two queer women who understood one another so deeply. It was so refreshing to watch a film focus on a friendship so heavily especially among women.
One of the nursery kids made a flashlight to find the ghosts. I asked if they were nice ghosts, and she said yes.
Beeswax candles are the perfect smell and mood for the cold, in my opinion. I love the beeswax candles made by Alysia Mazzella. Her website is here
She also accepts beeswax donations to recycle the leftovers - it’s a wonderful and thoughtful program worth checking out.
Have a lovely month <3
