May 23rd
When do you keep pushing? How do you know? When do you know to pause? How do you know?
These questions often keep me up, circling, knowing inside of me there are many parts. A part of me knows the value in pushing through, fighting, proving to yourself you can keep going when you thought you couldn’t. Another part knows the value in reflecting, the magical and wonderful permission I can give myself to shift or even quit, and deciding to rest.
It is a tricky balance that I will never know the answer to in each situation. I will say I have made enough paintings and art pieces that I trust myself and the painting to decide when to pause. I will be revisiting my large large painting in the future - I’m not sure when. I physically didn’t have space in my studio for much else and was beginning to feel it take up too much space mentally. It wasn’t getting to a place I thought was the end any time soon. As soon as I took it down and put up a fresh, blank canvas, I felt it was right.
I had written on my To-Do neon orange post it:
Roll up 18 foot painting
Begin Again
My lesson at the STAR Center that happens each month was just what I needed. I only had one student which hadn’t happened before, but we made the most of it. They were non verbal but would respond to colors and which color they wanted to choose. I would squeeze some paint out and move forward.
I had placed some sequins, feathers, and pom poms to the side and they reached for the pom poms. I opened the bag and took out a handful. They carefully and methodically made lines of glue and placed each pom pom, one by one, in a line. This went on for more than an HOUR.
The focus, passion, and excitement this student had for the material made me tear up. Of course they didn’t notice, they were only looking at their piece. Even when someone came in to walk them to the front, they would hardly look away from the glue trails and pom pom clumps.
The hosptial hosted a reception for me and invited people to come meet me as the artist. The work is hung in a hallway to the cafeteria so most everyone passes the artwork on display during meals.
Raffle
I have a drawing/collage in an upcoming raffle supporting Palestine.
You can see the details for it here
Coming up
I’ll be assisting Ian Brownlee in a workshop at Penland this summer. A two week class in drawing and collage. I am PUMPED! I’ll be doing an instagram/ facebook art sale to try and save some money before going, so keep an eye out for that.
This month has been crazy, crazy so this newsletter is a bit shorter and a few days behind <3. I love being human. Have a great rest of May, talk in June!