december 21st
december oranges
this month’s creations
The act of writing once a month and reflecting on what I’ve done has proven to force me out of my dissociative patterns. Without always realizing, I can go back to a default state of living in my head, and out of my body.
The string of winter holidays seems to magnify whatever I’m already feeling. I’m with those who are grieving during this season, and all the festivities can seem to magnify the grief, and it’s easy to turn inward.
And yet! I have really lovely friends I have leaned on during this time. A very supportive therapist. Two crazy cats. A humble little space heater in my bedroom, humming through the night.
The past few winters, I’ve noticed orange coming up in a lot of my paintings. There’s a degree of warmth I’m probably seeking in the cold / dark. I’ve enjoyed these December orange paintings.
At the end of November, I was in Alaska and then Philadelphia.
In my paid subscriber newsletter, I went a little more into detail one of the lessons I have been reflecting on from my time in Alaska and learning about totem poles. It’s something I find myself returning to.
support my upcoming residency
I will be spending two weeks in January at a residency in North Carolina. There are more details in the description but I’m a firm believer that residencies change LIVES. They have changed mine for the better.
The last solo residency I had came shortly after my divorce and provided me the safest space possible, and that is the sort of container I’m hoping for this time. Space to heal, be held, learn, grow, cry, and fully immerse myself in the creative process.
I’ve always wanted to spend New Year’s Eve alone and that’s what I’ll get to do this year! Though I’m looking forward to it, I have been anticipating some loneliness of having poor phone service / potentially being the only resident there at the time. Some close friends are writing me letters to open up during my time there, which my therapist encouraged me in reaching out to people, and he is even gonna write one too 😭
what i’ve been up to
Jacob and I had our first pop-up officially as stained glass partners. He made these stools out of a variety of wood and glass inlays. I feel like we learned a lot in terms of next steps and how to be a little more “official” like coming up with a name and business cards and all that jazz!
I led a craft at The Carnegie in Jackson, TN otherwise known as the Legends of Tennessee Music Museum. I’m happy to start teaching kid’s classes there once a month starting in February. I glued ribbons on these mini canvases to make into ornaments.
After the few hours, over 40 canvases had been painted, and that made my heart really happy. With community events, it can be hard to predict the outcome, but we all left feeling really encouraged.
The Christmas party was a time of reopening the space after new leadership and renovations. I’ll be sure once I have my list of classes and dates to share them and hopefully have lots of fun!
The very next night, I was re-saturated with art and community again. Crystal, owner of Crystal’s Zen and Juice, is hosting open paint nights. She guided us through a landscape painting with the perfect balance of letting each person’s unique touches influence the overall piece.
We all had the same reference photo but were encouraged to leave personal touches. My friend Keith and I went together after joining up for an afternoon coffee, chatting about how to cause some “good trouble.”
muses
I bought this blown glass from an artist in Philadelphia named Otto. He has no socials or website, but sells locally from a few shops in order to fund his scuba diving adventures. I picked up so many of them and landed on this magical little one.
The kids in the nursery on Sunday mornings normally come up with something that blows my mind. This past week, it was a hand “tattoo”. They love seeing me come in with new tattoos / coloring on them / adding to them. One of the little ones exclaimed, “I’m an artist!!” I told her, “Yes, you are! You were an artist even before this, too.”
I just finished this book. I read it slowly, taking it in pretty slowly, which felt right. It helped give me language to frame my queerness in a way that was outside of something inherently sexual in nature, and more of a way I see the world. Being queer as in how I live my life, not only who I am attracted to. Now, I have her podcast on my list of things to delve into!
This view from Alaska. I keep coming back to this view. The wind was slapping my face the whole time, but it only seemed to heighten the experience.
I feel like I need to add that I just love having green floors. The winter light is shining on them so nicely and it’s hard to imagine living with regular floors now.