A few days ago, I was photographed by the wonderful Aaron Hardin. I’ve been in this new house now a couple months and feel some sense of settling. Adjusting here and there but my mental health is steadily improving. I’m sure it’s a combination of factors: new medication, more sunlight and living in a field I can lay in any time, living with other people again, etc.
This latest low point makes my body ache again just thinking about. I’m glad things are getting better, but there’s also this raw vulnerability that comes with joy. I feel scared that things could change in any moment. I struggle to stay present and feel whatever it is in that moment / day / week. I want to work on that: being present and letting my feelings flow through me like water.
The last one is my favorite. I feel much more myself in photos where I’m not posing to smile. Growing up in Turkey, people rarely smiled in photos. Most people gave their “resting” face and I feel in portraiture … something is intimate about it.
I also finally had to push to hang up my painted dot quilt from my January residency earlier this year. I love sleeping under it .. resting under each dot like a star.
What I’ve been up to
The latest Carnegie class, we painted flower pots. One of the girls constantly paints at home and loves making marks; I loved watching her focus and flow which resulted in the piece on the far left. Our next one is for a different age bracket, 9-12 year olds, doing the same thing! Painting pots! Sign up here.
Jacob and Abby have BIG THINGS COMING!!! Jacob is my stained glass partner and we’ve been behind the scenes working on some branding and announcements. I’m marrying my love for dots and painting with glass into small pieces and seeing what happens. Here he is showing off our new canvas slab for the clay we just bought and are experimenting with. We are hoping to keep y’all updated with what we have in store soon!
The far left photo shows some more wooden altars I am working on. I’d love to write / express more of what this specific body of work means to me, so I will be working on that.
On the far right is me laying with my ever growing banner of circles and dots!! It’s coming along! Perks of living with roommates is having someone late at night to take a photo of me with it :)
And the middle photo is just a large painting soaking up the sun with me.
Working on a commission and really enjoying the process. It’s been a few months since I’ve had one and am loving the back and forth conversations I’m having with the piece.
Coming up
SNEAK PEAK FOR NEXT ONLINE SALE! Time tbd. Pay what you can. (photo credit: Hannah Gore)
I’ve thought a lot about how we place value on art. Money is perhaps the most straight forward way especially the way our society is set up. I think multiple things can be true at once: I value my own work AND I want it to be accessible. I want artists to be paid a living wage AND if someone resonates with a piece, I want it to be in their reach. I love making my work AND I fear I won’t make enough money on a scale. I’ve been back and forth, but because I currently have a reliable section of my income from working at a coffee shop, I’m able to offer this on a scale. I’m happy to do that for my community and excited to see what comes of it!
I am leaving for California this week to be with family and am looking forward to what may find me there … I am looking forward to seeing water and being close to the sun and waves.
April muses
THIS BOOK!! I saw it in the store and didn’t buy it. I found it online used and have read it twice now. All about a kid growing up with a green hand that brings her shame / confusion / feelings of wanting to hide. It’s about color, being human, being different, and all the parts of us.
soap from Palestine
Don’t mind my screenshot haha :) These painted pajamas from a Japanese outsider artist have filled my thoughts recently.
my pearls and baseball cap
have a wonderful month!!
